This Ones For You Crazy Pot Smoker. LOL

 Yes Joy that's you. ;) Any ways. Sitting here in the room with Carrie rollin on xanaxz & feeling right. Just got off the phone with the crazy pot smoker. our third wheel in crime. haha. Dad finally gave my damn keys back that he took the other day for absolutely no reason. I'm SO ready to get out and do something. We're gonna go to Chester this week and weekend to visit Joy. with Joy. Hadn't seen her in a while. I have no clue what in the world i'm going to do with my self for the rest of the night. Guess i'll just have to be creative. =]

Let Freedom Riiiiiiiiiiiiing.!!!

    [Carrie Drunk n Smileyy/ our choice of nutrition on weekendz ;]

Again, same story different tune..
Ready to get the hell out of this house. Carrie and I are just hanging out in the house. Lying in the room watching her play her video game. haha. We had lots of fun at kims, but of course we always do. :) we've been talking to her alot about moving out of my house. She says she's going to let us set up this HUGE camper in her back yard to stay in. I thought that was SUPER cool. The only problem is we're just waiting on her to go through with it. Don't get me wrong, i know how big of an adjustment it is just letting someone move in on your life like that, but i'm glad me and Carrie are private people. We like our privacy and have a very hard time invading anyone elses. So i guess that will be good for both us and Kim. But still wea re hoping that she'll get back in touch with us about it. More praying than hoping really. We're so excited to think we might actually have our own place to stay for a while. I know it's going to be hard, but i know it's going to be easier with Carrie there. Everything always is. Then, not to lighten the load any, we're still waiting on Fatz Cafe to call us back for our next interview. We've had one already and have been calling constantly for the job. Its always "callbacks start next week" but of course that has been every week. But the Lord only knows. Shoot, maybe it will work out for the best and we can finally get that apartment we've been talking about for so long. God i hope so. It would be SO wonderful. Anyone taking the time to read this, please pray for us. I think it's about time that something positive happens in Carrie and I's life. We need to take our new step, start OUR first chapter together. But until then everyone... good night.

UGG.

I guess there isn't too much to say seeing as nothing has happened yet. Same ol' same ol' of course, woke up, did work, and Carrie did all her "chores". I felt sick to my stomach this morning, & didn't think anything of it. We had planned to spend the weekend with Kim early this morning. Now we're at Maw Maws and i feel soooooo sick. I don't know what it is... i guess i'm just over tired and over stressed. I know Carrie is too, she's been working herself to death. Now, instead of doing all the work for a reason and getting paid, she has to do it all because "she lives there for free". She's gonna hurt herself, because aside from what she'd like to believe, she isn't MACHO WOMAN. She can't just lift 200 pound trees and sling boxes of tile over her back. She already has pains in her bones at 19, she doesn't need to push it. Then, this is the new issue i'm facing. I cleaned my Moms WHOLE house spotless for her the other day (which i get 20 dollars for doing). I'm not complaining but i should be because the house is a mess. Anyways, i ask her last night for the money that she owes me so i can use it this weekend, and she tells me that i don't get it, that i "owed her" from the Alice in Wonderland movie she bought me last week. EVEN THOUGH she did NOT tell me i was gonna have to pay it off. So i just got swindled out of more money. I don't know man. To not have any money to begin with, then to get screwed out of the little bit i get, it tap dances on my nerves a little bit. But hell, should be used to it by now right? Well, i'm going to go. May not be back on tonight. (spending the weekend at Kim's) but i'll let you know what goes on this weekend!

Just Another Day..

Carrie didn't sleep too well last night. She does that alot, wakes up in the middle of the night & sits awake for hours. She woke me up at around 3 am to go smoke a little ganja. She thought it might make her fall back asleep. It worked perfectly for me of course but not as well for her. She still layed awake until morning. She is normally who nonchalantly wakes me up in the mornings, but i don't ever get upset because i know she just doesn't want to be alone. I don't blame her though, so it's never an issue. Just a lot of lost sleep..lol, on her part as well. She worked 12 hours straight landscaping in the yard yesterday and is 'bout beat up today. I'm hoping she'll be able to get to sleep tonight but we can only pray. Same ol' same ol' today. Alot of the same bullshit of course with the parents and such. I don't know HOW i'm gonna get all my make up work done before May 28th. I suppose i'vev had plenty of time to access it but it's such a great amount of work! I can barely finish my daily assignments let alone doing make up work on top of it. But i will have to set aside time because i have no time to fail this year. This is my baseball game and i'm in the final stretch. If i strike out this year, i lose the game. Period. & we can't have that now can we. ;) but aside from all the regulars, we went to Boodies house for a while to chat with all the friends. We'll probably find ourselves there again tommorow though. But hell, it's the best place to be come weekend time! :) goodnight world. <3

The Very Essence of My Personality. :)

The Day After Yesterday. ツ

Is most obviously, today. It's been an all around okay day but things are just getting so stressful. I love my parents and my family to death but there is only so much one can tolerate from another human being, regardless of seniority. Carrie and I have been talking about getting our own place for months now, practically since she moved in. ;) but of course with "your own place" comes bills, which require a steady paycheck; what one would call a JOB. & please believe me, if it was as easy as filling out a job application like it used to be, Carrie and I would both have jobs. In the past year i have seen Carrie run herself into the ground driving all over God's green Earth filling out applications, speaking with job fairs, and getting interviews. What more does a person have to do to find good employment these days? Hardened criminals with records find jobs quicker than good, hardworking people do now. I can't help but to notice on all the applications the bottom reads, "will not discriminate due to sex, origin, handicap, age or social status". So for Carrie to walk in, all dressed up in a long sleeved button up shirt and dress pants and for them to only react with the ignorance of recognizing her short hair and male attire, is obsurd. Oh she's obviously Gay. Right? She obviously does not believe in God and has deep, irreversible gender issues. She obviously THINKS she can complete any task better than a male and thats just not a quality we are attracted to in our work environment. Wrong. The fact of the matter is, if each person in the world took more than 5 minutes to understand someone instead of judging people firsthand, maybe everyone would be more open to other peoples' points of view. Less "I'm right you're wrong", less "I'm in Heaven you're in Hell", less "My way or the highway". No matter what choices people make, love isn't one of them. If that was the way it was supposed to be then we would be given a book and told to choose our soulmates. Love is described as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Not gender. & if you can look at how loving and considerate our relationship is and ban us to hell for practicing an emotion that GOD himself put in our hearts then so be it. Your sin is no smaller than mine. & if you can tell me my prayers are different than yours, and my blessings are different than yours, then you would also have to tell me, my God is different than yours. & that's a statement i refuse to believe. So if you have not noticed by now, my fiancee & i are in a lesbian relationship. We've been together since December 7th, 2008 and became engaged on May 29th, 2009. She moved into my parents home with me when i was 15 and we've been here living together ever since. I'd like to think of our relationship as very open and tender. We both have alot of love for eachother. We've had one fight since we've gotten together and it lasted 2 hours. We have little arguments here and there but they just end with a laugh most of the time. I'm glad i have Carrie because i know i couldn't live under the same roof as a man. LOL. Been there done that. I think i'm too dominant to peacefully co-exist with a male. :) In my parents house there are 7 people. Including 4 consecutive generations of women in the same household. It's me, Carrie, my younger Sister, my Mom & Dad, my Grandmother, & my Great-Grandmother (93!) Carrie is currently 19 and i'm 17, and am currently completing my second to last year of highschool via computer. So you can see our predicament with the living situation now. I think we've become to independent for all the commotion. Tired of living our lives as a couple everyday to come home to nagging and yelling. The stress level here is impossible. & it isn't like we sit on our butts all day & live for free. We clean and keep house, run around after everyone, take care of the animals and plants, and take care of the 4 acres my parents home. My Grandmother stays home to tend to my Noonie (Great-Grandmother). So we rarely have any help. It's depressing to try so hard to maintain a property and life that doesn't belong to you, especially when you crave your own things. I just feel like Carrie and I are due for a new step into life and i'm patiently waiting on it to come. We pray, pray, pray for that's the only thing that seems to work. We keep our heads above water only by the grace of God and the little signs he provides us with to know he hasn't forgotten about us and our problems. All we can do is ask people to keep us in our prayers and keep praying ourselves. God says he will never give you more than you can handle but i'm starting to see the breaking point. I hope we aren't pushed any farther but that lays in the hands of God. So now you see the crazy life i lead and how every turn i make leads to another intersection. Not always interesting, but always "curiouser and curiouser".